Thursday, December 3, 2009

Around the Horn

I found Mitt Romney's nonsensical plan to revive our economy linked by several Republican hacks during my weekly trek into the infernal regions of Republican establishment quackery. Apparently, Newt Gingrich isn't the only Republican capable of formulating worthless ten point plans on nearly everything and having it swallowed as Gospel by the faux-conservative gasbags that dominate the Republican Party.

I then discovered that Bob Dole was still alive and taking insulubrious doses of American Exceptionalism sildenafil. He's now warning us about the existential threat posed by the possibility of a decentralized Bosnia. He even manages to throw in the timeless "indispesable nation" drivel and as a good Republican pontificates on the evils and dangers of multilaterialism.

Michael Goldfarb doesn't seem to care that the Afghan Army we are fighting side-by-side with are a bunch of raving lunatics; who, in-between firefights, indulge in their favorite hobby of getting doped up on opium and hashish. He even has the bad taste to compare the complete disorientation and recklessness of the Afghanis drug addiction with the British rum ration of World War I.

Another sophisticated writer at the same magazine opines that unless women in Afghanistan parade around the streets of Kabul in short-skirts it will "constitute moral and strategic failure."
Hopefully, Obama's surge in Afghanistan will allow this vital American interest to come to fruition and keep us safe from terrorists.

Another strident defender of America from the nefarious Islamofascists has a theory that one possible reason for America's declining crime rate is higher immigration. He concisely titles his wonderful prose "Higher Immigration, Lower Crime"! I also learned that "Daniel Griswold is director of the Center for Trade Policy Studies at the Cato Institute and author of the new book Mad About Trade: Why Main Street America Should Embrace Globalization." Not only is Danny kind enough to peddle a fantasy immigration policy, he also promulgates a fantasy economic system for the middle-class! I'm sure informing Main Street that they can have the leftover remnant of the economic pie-after immigrants and outsourcing- is a sure way to win them over!

And Finally, I leave you with this wonderful article by Barbara Lerner. Misses Lerner -recently escaped from an insane asylum- wants you to direct all of your irrational fear, paranoia, and hatred like a laser against Iran. Watch Fox News, read the Weekly Standard, listen to Rudy Giuliani speeches, live your entire life in fear and build a nuclear fallout shelter because Iran is on the march! Unless we take action now, the mighty and powerful Iranian air force of f-14's will be dropping nukes on a city near you. Here's a sample of Barbie's powerful writing:

Are you worried — like so many Americans after the Fort Hood massacre — about the growing threat of Islamist subversion and terror here at home? Worried, beyond that, about what we’re doing — or not doing — militarily in Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Iraq? Worried about the growing reach and power of Islamist movements in Europe and South America, as well as Asia, the Middle East, and Turkey? Worried about the military alliances Islamist governments are forging with their secular mirror images: socialist-god governments in places like North Korea, Russia, and Venezuela?

Then focus like a laser on Iran, now, because Islamists will score major victories in all those places and more if we fail to prevent the ruling mullahs from openly, triumphantly making Iran the world’s first Islamist nuclear power. The danger isn’t only Iran’s own catastrophic recklessness, once she gets the bomb, or the fact that all her Arab neighbors will respond by scrambling to go nuclear too. It’s also that Islamists everywhere — joined by growing masses of previously undecided Muslims — will see Iran’s success in achieving nuclear status the way Iran’s mullahs see it: as a historic defeat for the West, blasting open the gate to a 21st-century world where Islam rules and Christians, Jews, Hindus, and Buddhists are subservient or worse. Islamist ranks will swell, everywhere, as confidence grows that the Islamist side is the winning side, and victory is near.

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