Showing posts with label Republican. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Republican. Show all posts

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Around the Horn

I found Mitt Romney's nonsensical plan to revive our economy linked by several Republican hacks during my weekly trek into the infernal regions of Republican establishment quackery. Apparently, Newt Gingrich isn't the only Republican capable of formulating worthless ten point plans on nearly everything and having it swallowed as Gospel by the faux-conservative gasbags that dominate the Republican Party.

I then discovered that Bob Dole was still alive and taking insulubrious doses of American Exceptionalism sildenafil. He's now warning us about the existential threat posed by the possibility of a decentralized Bosnia. He even manages to throw in the timeless "indispesable nation" drivel and as a good Republican pontificates on the evils and dangers of multilaterialism.

Michael Goldfarb doesn't seem to care that the Afghan Army we are fighting side-by-side with are a bunch of raving lunatics; who, in-between firefights, indulge in their favorite hobby of getting doped up on opium and hashish. He even has the bad taste to compare the complete disorientation and recklessness of the Afghanis drug addiction with the British rum ration of World War I.

Another sophisticated writer at the same magazine opines that unless women in Afghanistan parade around the streets of Kabul in short-skirts it will "constitute moral and strategic failure."
Hopefully, Obama's surge in Afghanistan will allow this vital American interest to come to fruition and keep us safe from terrorists.

Another strident defender of America from the nefarious Islamofascists has a theory that one possible reason for America's declining crime rate is higher immigration. He concisely titles his wonderful prose "Higher Immigration, Lower Crime"! I also learned that "Daniel Griswold is director of the Center for Trade Policy Studies at the Cato Institute and author of the new book Mad About Trade: Why Main Street America Should Embrace Globalization." Not only is Danny kind enough to peddle a fantasy immigration policy, he also promulgates a fantasy economic system for the middle-class! I'm sure informing Main Street that they can have the leftover remnant of the economic pie-after immigrants and outsourcing- is a sure way to win them over!

And Finally, I leave you with this wonderful article by Barbara Lerner. Misses Lerner -recently escaped from an insane asylum- wants you to direct all of your irrational fear, paranoia, and hatred like a laser against Iran. Watch Fox News, read the Weekly Standard, listen to Rudy Giuliani speeches, live your entire life in fear and build a nuclear fallout shelter because Iran is on the march! Unless we take action now, the mighty and powerful Iranian air force of f-14's will be dropping nukes on a city near you. Here's a sample of Barbie's powerful writing:

Are you worried — like so many Americans after the Fort Hood massacre — about the growing threat of Islamist subversion and terror here at home? Worried, beyond that, about what we’re doing — or not doing — militarily in Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Iraq? Worried about the growing reach and power of Islamist movements in Europe and South America, as well as Asia, the Middle East, and Turkey? Worried about the military alliances Islamist governments are forging with their secular mirror images: socialist-god governments in places like North Korea, Russia, and Venezuela?

Then focus like a laser on Iran, now, because Islamists will score major victories in all those places and more if we fail to prevent the ruling mullahs from openly, triumphantly making Iran the world’s first Islamist nuclear power. The danger isn’t only Iran’s own catastrophic recklessness, once she gets the bomb, or the fact that all her Arab neighbors will respond by scrambling to go nuclear too. It’s also that Islamists everywhere — joined by growing masses of previously undecided Muslims — will see Iran’s success in achieving nuclear status the way Iran’s mullahs see it: as a historic defeat for the West, blasting open the gate to a 21st-century world where Islam rules and Christians, Jews, Hindus, and Buddhists are subservient or worse. Islamist ranks will swell, everywhere, as confidence grows that the Islamist side is the winning side, and victory is near.



Tuesday, August 25, 2009

New Yorkers - Don't Waste Your Vote On This Man

The new Rudy Guiliani has arrived!

Fake condemnation of investigations of activities that will continue to go on with Obama! Thank goodness we still have the Republican opposition!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Hannity: Log Cabin Neocon?


HAVE I EVER wondered what a wonderful world it would be if only my fans could get together, talk about how great I am and fall in love over their joint love for me? Sure, but unlike Fox News commentator Sean Hannity, I haven't done anything about it. At Hannity.com, in addition to enjoying the book club (Newt Gingrich, Jeff Foxworthy), song club (Charlie Daniels Band, Martina McBride), photos (Hannity's Insanity in Phoenix) and comic books ("Liberality for All" is set in 2021 and has a bionic Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy, Oliver North and a man born on Sept. 11, 2001, fighting to save a U.S. controlled by the U.N., including Ambassador Osama bin Laden), visitors can log on to Hannidate.

Conservatives need late-night, out-of-town hookups just as much as liberals. They also, it seems, need some hot man-on-man action. If you pull down the menu on Hannidate, you can select "I am a male, seeking a male." This was surprising because not even eHarmony allows same-sex pairings. Stranger still for a Fox News commentator's site, you can select ZIP Codes in Beverly Hills, Provincetown and San Francisco.

Figuring this was an embarrassing oversight by the Hannity.com administrator who must have bought the dating service software from some liberal company, I immediately contacted Hannity, hoping he'd panic and cry and possibly use his bionic powers. But it turns out Hannity was well aware of the gay Hannidate feature and is fine with it. "Hannidate is open to everyone," he informed me. "Even lonely L.A. Times reporters." He may be soft on gays, but Hannity can still hit a lonely, empty-desked, downsizing liberal newspaper where it hurts.

I found 21 gay profiles, a full 11 of which I thought were real (though I'd like to believe that the guy called "Seeking Fellow Cowboy Fans," who wants to get "back to my favorite mountain" and needs "help herding sheep," is totally legit). I called Michael Burke, 31, a New York restaurant general manager "looking for a normal guy." A normal guy, that is, who thinks he can meet hot gay men on Sean Hannity's website. Burke, who found Barry Goldwater's "The Conscience of a Conservative" at the library when he was 12 and voted for President Bush twice, loves Broadway musicals, Michigan State football, swing bands, Civil War books and Margaret Thatcher.

"It would be neat if I found somebody that had similar interests," he said. A longtime Hannity listener, Burke said he heard about Hannidate on the radio and figured he'd check to see if there was a same-sex option. Hannity, it turns out, is against same-sex marriage but is pretty libertarian on gay relationships, often standing up to gay bashers on his show and putting gay former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey's book on his book club list. In fact, Burke said he's seen very little homophobia from Republicans who aren't Christian fundamentalists. And he points out that among all the presidential front-runners, Rudy Giuliani is the most gay friendly. Especially since he lost the comb-over.

"Because I'm gay and do favor legalization of gay marriage doesn't mean I feel a certain way about the war on terror or taxes," Burke said. He has no interest in being a one-issue voter in Democratic primaries or joining the Log Cabin Republicans, whom he finds too left-leaning. And, I'm guessing, kind of dorky. More important, he thinks a gay guy with Hannity's social values might be a better fit than the guys he meets at bars. "A lot of people are looking to party and have a fun time instead of looking for a relationship. Politics aside, I was looking for someone who is a little more conservative in his lifestyle."

After years of red versus blue, it's easy to forget how personal politics are. And that people are closer to the center than you might think, regardless of sexuality or ability to muffle Alan Colmes. I hope Burke finds the love of his life on Hannidate and that one day they can get married. Because I want to see a wedding with Broadway tunes and a Margaret Thatcher impersonator. I just hope Eddie Izzard's booking fees are reasonable.

Column by Joel Stein of the Los Angeles Times
November 28, 2006
Original Column Here